The Hope of Singleness

There are times when I read scripture and my heart is discouraged, usually when I read scripture dealing with the issues of women, but not for reasons of burden. I have a pretty clear understanding that marriage just isn’t in the works for me, and when it comes to women almost all of scripture towards women is written in the context of marriage and family life.


In that culture it was assumed that a woman would marry the whole of Proverbs 31 is dedicated to the good wife, not woman, wife. It can apply generally to single women, but most specifically it applies to the wife. I’ve read books on the proverbs 31 woman and have put them down half way through because the entire book is written for the married woman. The authors usually in the goodness of their intentions make an effort a few times in each chapter to tell any single woman reading this book not to be discouraged, that someday the Lord will provide a husband even for you! At which point I usually cringe, shake my head and throw the book in the trash.

I have no husband to serve, no children to tend and no maid servants to delegate tasks to, and that is okay.

In my twilight 20’s I am facing the very real possibility of living the rest of my life single. That is okay.

It has been ten years since I have been on a date or asked out on a date, and that is okay too.

There is a temptation to look at that last sentence and think “no one wants me” or for the reader to look at that last comment and think “you poor lonely thing you” but it’s all lies I tell you. LIES!!! There is someone who wants me and who is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He said that He would be with me always, even until the end of the world. I can go nowhere away from His presence and His love is better than wine.

Earlier this week I bought a New Testament on cassette to listen to in the car when I drive, I just started Luke after going through Matthew and Mark over the past few days. Today while listening to Luke I heard something that made me stop and rewind the tape, this is what I heard.

36And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, 37and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. 38And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.


~ Luke 2: 36-38

Anna may have been between 13 or 15 when she was given in marriage, which means that she lived possible 69 years as a widow, in the temple worshipping and serving the Lord. The only time she is mentioned in scripture is in this verse. Did she bare children and raise them before going in service to the Lord? It isn’t known, all we know is that she lived 69 years, maybe more as a widow who had dedicated her life to the Lord in fasting and prayer. He honored her at the end of her long life with the infant cries of Jesus the Savior of her soul.



I love my married friends and the Lord has taught me and is still teaching me to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. There are certain things in life that I may never learn because of my singleness, and most of them I don’t want to. I have met some women so happily married or engaged and yet so socially inept that they insult me for my single state of life. Then I’ve met women who insult me purposefully because married life seems to them as some sort of hierarchy status. Overall I’ve learned that although marriage may be wonderful and pleasant some of the time, it comes with its own set of burdens that most newly-weds are not prepared to deal with. Most of the time it is a trial, a compromise and I do not doubt a humbling journey.

I personally think that I have the better hand. There is no one else for me to greet in the mornings other than my God. There is no one else for me to curl up next too than my sweet and loving Lord who blesses me with his unconditional and never failing love. I have the luxury of spending all day in my room with the Word and seeking the Lords face in prayer. It is a luxury and a privilege to be in service to only Him. Only Jesus.

Anna never had to depart from the temple; she never had to lose her focus on the Lord. Neither do I. I have no husband to take my attention away from serving the Lord, and that is a blessing to me. One day the Lord may look at my life and say I should marry, but it isn’t something I’m looking for or forward too. Whatever He wills will come in His time and to His purposes. For now I am more than pleased to learn to live like Anna lived, and cherish all of my time with the lover of my soul.